Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, and the Power of Rewriting Your Story

Chelsey Gilbert
Jul 7
5 min read

By Chelsey Gilbert LMT and Host of Transformative Talks Podcast

One of the things I love most about hosting the Transformative Talks Podcast is connecting with

people who deeply understand the healing journey—not just professionally, but personally.

Recently, I had the opportunity to sit down with Dr. Jeffrey Bone, a chronic illness coach who has spent the last decade navigating his own experience with chronic illness.

Our conversation touched on chronic pain, grief, nervous system regulation, creativity, community, and something I believe is incredibly important: learning how to live fully even when life doesn't look the way you expected.

Healing Isn't a Destination

If you've spent any amount of time in the wellness space, you've probably heard phrases like "healing journey" or "recovery process." While these ideas can be inspiring, they can also create an unrealistic expectation that one day you'll arrive at a final destination where everything is fixed, pain-free, and perfect. The truth is that life doesn't work that way. Even if a particular symptom improves or a diagnosis changes, we will all continue to encounter challenges, discomfort, loss, stress, and uncertainty throughout our lives. Healing isn't about reaching a finish line. It's about learning how to navigate life with greater awareness, resilience, and self-compassion.

As Dr. Bone shared during our conversation, many people living with chronic illness spend years searching for answers, trying every treatment imaginable, and desperately trying to get back to who they were before they got sick. While that desire is understandable, true healing often begins when we stop waiting for life to start and begin living within the reality of where we are right now.

The Invisible Grief of Chronic Illness

One of the most powerful parts of our conversation centered around grief. When we think about grief, we often associate it with losing a loved one. But chronic illness brings its own form of loss.

There can be grief for:

The body you once had
The energy you once had
The plans that changed
The version of yourself you thought you'd become
The life you imagined

And unlike many forms of grief, this isn't something you process once and move beyond.

It often returns in waves. As Dr. Bone beautifully explained, grief can "boomerang" back throughout the healing journey. That doesn't mean you're failing, it means you're human. One thing I appreciated about his perspective is that he doesn't rush people toward positivity. Instead, he helps normalize what they're experiencing. It's okay to be sad. cry and feel frustrated. All of the "negative" emotions we demonize are actually helping us to metabolize our stress.

So many of us spend our energy trying to push emotions away because they're uncomfortable. But emotions are information. They have a purpose. They simply want to be acknowledged and felt.

As I often tell my clients, and as my daughter once wisely told me while I was studying massage therapy: "You have to feel the pain to heal the pain."

Why We Need to Stop Fighting Our Feelings

In my own work in providing trauma informed bodywork, I see this all the time. People come in carrying years of stress, trauma, tension, grief, anxiety, or chronic pain. They've spent so much time trying not to feel what they're feeling that the body never gets the opportunity to process and release it. When emotions aren't allowed to move, they often become stuck. The nervous system stays in a loop. The body stays in a protective pattern. The mind keeps replaying the same story. Dr. Bone described it perfectly: what we resist tends to persist.

When we allow ourselves to safely experience our emotions rather than suppress them, we create the possibility for transformation. Not because the emotion disappears immediately, but because it no longer has to fight to be acknowledged.

Creativity as a Healing Tool

One of the most fascinating parts of Dr. Bone's story was learning that during some of the most difficult moments of his illness, he turned to poetry. He wasn't an artist or a writer. Yet creating became an outlet for processing what he was experiencing. That creative expression eventually led to poetry books, journals, coloring books, a podcast, and a deeper understanding of himself. This resonated deeply with me.

Whether it's painting, writing, dancing, gardening, music, movement, crafting, or any other creative outlet, creativity gives us a way to move energy that has become stuck.

It helps us reconnect with ourselves, gives us choice and reminds us that we are not trapped.

Creative expression isn't about being good at something. It's about giving yourself permission to explore, feel, create, and discover.

Lately, I've been intentionally making more space for creativity in my own life through painting, gardening, movement, and dance. What I've noticed is that these activities help me reconnect with myself in ways that talking and thinking alone cannot. There is something incredibly healing about creating simply for the sake of creating.

The Importance of Connection and Co-Regulation

Another topic we explored was co-regulation. As humans, we aren't designed to heal in isolation.

For most of human history, we lived in communities and shared responsibilities. We relied on one another. We regulated our nervous systems through connection, touch, conversation, and shared experiences. Today, many people feel incredibly isolated. When you're dealing with chronic illness, chronic pain, or emotional struggles, it can be tempting to withdraw further.

But healing often requires connection. Sometimes that connection comes through a trusted friend.

Sometimes it's a therapist, coach, bodyworker, or healthcare practitioner. Sometimes it's simply sitting with someone who truly understands what you're experiencing.

One of the most powerful moments in any healing relationship is when someone realizes they don't have to carry everything alone.

Reconnecting with Nature and Yourself

Toward the end of our conversation, we touched on something that I believe deserves its own entire podcast episode: our disconnection from nature. We spend much of our lives indoors, disconnected from natural rhythms, disconnected from our bodies, and disconnected from the environment we evolved within. Yet research continues to show that time in nature supports nervous system regulation, lowers stress, improves mood, and enhances overall well-being. Nature reminds us to slow down, breathe, observe and to be present.

Whether it's sitting in the sunshine, gardening, walking barefoot in the grass, or simply taking a mindful walk outdoors, reconnecting with nature can be one of the simplest and most powerful healing practices available.

Your Story Isn't Over

If there is one message I hope you take away from this conversation, it's this: Your story is not over.

Even if you're living with chronic illness, managing chronic pain and life looks different than you imagined. There are still chapters waiting to be written. There are still moments of joy, curiosity, connection, creativity, and growth available to you. And perhaps most importantly, you do not have to navigate it alone. Ask for help. Seek support. Find practitioners who listen and communities that understand. Find people who see you as a whole person—not just a diagnosis.

Healing isn't about becoming who you were before. Sometimes it's about discovering who you're becoming now. And that journey is still worth taking.